Boppage

Hello! Well its been exciting!

haha. not really. I havnt really had anything to blog about, so Im sorry for my dissapearance. Everytime I think about blogging my mind goes blank, and I think you all deserve something decent to read.

Anyway, I just signed in and I had a couple of messages off some of you worried about what has happened to me! Im fine honestly. I feel quite bad about not keeping in touch.

Anyway, so.. not much has happened. It was halloween last night. A few people came round and we made vodka jelly and a rediculous amount of punch. (it got me quite drunk!) The flat looks lovely. we bought 200 fairy lights and drapped them all over the place and it looks most beautiful.
Oooh, we did pumpkins!

frankly, they are great.

this morning we got up, feeling a little delicate, and decided that we wanted a greasy breakfast.. so we went to mcdonalds! then we have just had a roast dinner for tea, and my stomach has developed a food baby. good god. yummy though

so!

I am going to try and blog more again, i miss reading about what you are all up to!

hope you are all alright.

heyho,

so those that wanted to see some of my creativity that i have been doing.. here goes.. none of them are really any good, but they are a start.. im going to work on my skills and my weeknesses while just enjoying it, so dont expect masterpieces! k, here goes..

this mobile is hanging in the window, its really colourful and i had lots of fun making it

paper mache photo frame! currently holding stu's picture of tim curry! this was really good fun to make, and made quite a mess!

the sketch of this farm house is the one accross the road from us, im not sure why taking the picture made a pink shine in the middle.. but that isnt on the picture.

collages are great. maybe my favourite type of art to make. i find them interesting to look at and to find some sort of story or message in them

these pastel pictures dissapointed me, im going to have to work on my pastels.. i had a picture in my head but they didnt quite come out right on paper..

so, what do you think? helpful criticism?

its made me feel good to express myself.

So i havnt blogged in a while. not much has happened really.

I got scammed by a loan company. they got £40 from me with a promise that they would give me a loan. they didnt, and wont stop calling me. so i got stu to tell them where to go down the phone.

i have officially used all my money for the month already.. a week after pay day.. fail. so, im rediculously skint, and i have been looking at car insurance and i cant get any for much less than a grand... thats a lot of money.. so. i guess i will have to wait until i can afford to drive.

we have been being very arty recently, i like it. i feel much better now that i am getting into art again. i like making things, its something to vent my energy.

so we have almost decided we are renting a baby big top for our wedding do. as its acctually about the same price as a hotel, but clearly much better... so, i think thats great. im really excited, but a bit worried about money

stu's brother is visiting from london next weekend, im really looking forward to it, he is a lovely person. we will have a lovely weekend and stu has the whole weekend off too! hurrah!

anyway, im getting a numb bum. so. im sorry for not blogging on here as much. not having it at work means that i dont really come n here much apart from to see what everyone's up to

ciao!

So, my cousin gave me a lift to Ollie's house. we had a beer and some pie. yum. and i nicked donny darko off him. He leaves for uni in half an hour. bless him.
he is gone for 10 weeks, then back for christmas, so not too bad i guess.

anyway, today we have people coming round, and tonight we plan to get a bit messy... i have work in the morning but im sure we will be fine

i dont have that much to say to be honest. im tired.

ooh, hopefully, i think stu's brother is coming up to see us weekend after next. he lives n london. he helped us with the deposit for the flat.. so. he is lovely

anyway i best get ready. i need to leave in an hour to meet someone, and the flat is a state

hope you are all well!

Im so annoyed with myself.

my best friend goes to uni tomorrow morning. probably never to be seen again. so i was supposed to be going to his tonight to say goodbye etc. i was rather excited and happy, also it would be nice to get out of the house as i havnt really been out in ages.
so anyway, this involves 2 buses. i have a week ticket. fine.

got the bus into chester then realised i didnt have the right bus ticket! as i go into a different county and the week ticket is only a deeside one, i couldnt get the second bus! i have absolutly no money either! so i have had to come home. so. im alone. and pissed off. and feel like crying frankly.

stu is at work if your wondering where he is. which is nice.

i just.. really fancy not being inside.

So, the other day me and stu made some collages. it felt great. so, we have decided as a decoration of our flat we are going to make one big one for the blank wall. it will be random and we will have made it how lovely.
im looking forward to it lots. so much so that today i nicked all the old hello magazines from work to cut up.

so tonight we have cracked open a bottle of wine.. we lost the corkscrew so stu did it with a nail and a hammer.. i dont know how..

so, we are celebrating that... well, its a thursday. and why not?

oh yeah, i cant get on here in the daytime anymore. they have blocked this site from work, so if you hear less of me that is why, such a shame.

we are currently listening to some rather dirty dubstep, and to be frank, it has turned my brain to jelly and i dont think i can think of any more to blog about. so, goodnight all, i hope you are all well

oh my.. also, my viewing numbers are scaring me..

Page views total:
11111

Page views today:
11

oh my.

last weekend I decided to buy myself a sketchpad and start sketching again. Im a bit rusty but it is already starting to come back to me.
When I was younger I used to draw and paint all the time, but when I was taking my exams there was a boy in the class who constantly critisised my work. So I quit. I quit because of a stupid boy at school.. and havn't continued since.

I love drawing, I feel great when I have finished a picture and i step back and see it and think, "i did that"
I used to be really good. Im hoping I can bring my skills back. Im going to buy some good pencils and some water colours. maybe some acrylics, and fill up my sketch book. I might scan some to put up.. but we will see. Im pretty scared of being knocked down again. but good criticism is helpful.
I think this is what I need to channel my creativity. It has been locked away in a box for all of my teenage years because I was worried about what others might think. Which is silly. It might acctually explain a lot too..

anyway, I am enjoying it so far. When my skills are back up then I can start being experimental, as at the moment I am just drawing what I see. the view from the window, copying pictures etc.

wish me luck!

Thats quite a lot.

thats 1 in 10.

Scary?

I worry.

To Go Home.

.. do weddings..

http://www.chesterzoo.org/Visit/Facilities/Weddings.aspx

I have emailed them for info and prices

oh my.

oh, I have forgot to tell you. we have brought the date forward. it is now christmas 2010. Because, well, Christmas is beautiful

Today Im feeling a bit better.

Today is Friday. Also, Chip day yum!

We are going to a wedding do tonight. Stu has borrowed some shoes and black pants from my cousin. he is going to look all smart I get to wear my little black dress which is always nice. Hurrah.

Today we are discussing my change in job role in work. Basically im doing the same job.. but instead of just for one manager.. for 4..

more money though.

hurrah.

i recon it will be after christmas.

anyway.

my car needs MOT, tax, and insurance. (as well as acctually getting it going..) so, no driving yet. im itching to drive on my own though. i just want to get out there.

3 months until christmas by the way.

Im tired, I have a cracking headache and no motivation. I cant concentrate on anything. When I left this morning stu was in bed because he hadnt been paid and i had to give him money for the bus again. I hope he is ok. I hope he got to work ok and didnt fall asleep. time is going very slowly. i want to go home and cuddle up on the sofa. I have to go to my cousins after work to pick up some black trousers for stu to borrow for this wedding do tomorrow. I have been asked to go out tonight. all my friends are going to town because they are all off to uni soon, but i really cant be arsed being sociable, at the same time it might be the last time i see some of them. Its gloomy outside and its starting to get cold. my headache has spread to the backs of my eyes. No matter how good things are going I always find something to worry about. I hope stu doesnt change his mind about me. Im madly in love but scared to loose what i have, so sometimes i get sad rather than enjoying it. I can see what im doing wrong but can never quite fix it. i always find a way of screwing things up. Things seem to be going ok, so im waiting in anticipation for the next thing to go wrong, just because i cant beleive that good things can just happen to me like this. im completely neurotic. sometimes i just want the reassurance. i desperately want everything to work out, which is sometimes why it goes wrong. Everything seems ok when Im in his arms. Sometimes I wish i could just float away, staying in his arms forever. I hate that everything revolves around money. But I think love can solve a lot of things, most things, everything.

Quite significantly..

i dont know if it has been happening slowly over time, or if they have suddenly grown. but i am now without a doubt one of the thousands of women in the country wearing the wrong size bra.

payday is a week monday. can i wait that long for a proper fitting bra?

i think im going to have to...

this sudden growth may explain the incident last week with the shirt that now apparently pops open. my breast are too big for the shirt!

hmm..

so i guess its work clothes shopping too..

ah well. i cant complain

passed with only 4 minors!!!!

so so chuffed its silly.

gah! im legally allowed to drive a car by myself!

I think.. my anxiety is getting much less.

I have made the decision to start meditating. Stu says he will help. We both think it will do me lots of good. But I have realised that I have been worrying a little less (or only worrying about miniscule things that really dont matter, or worrying about things i have made up to worry about, because I have nothing to worry about.)

so, this is good. my picking is getting better, and so is my skin (soon to be ruined by the time of the month, but ah well..)

and, yeah.

For example. it is only the 14th of the month, but I have today gone into the red.. i get paid next on the 28th, exactly 2 weeks away. surprisingly though, my anxiety isnt through the roof.. considering this is mixed with a driving test tomorrow...

this is good.

lets keep working on it and hope it isnt just a short passing phase.

After all the tears and hard work.. stu finally has a job. he is turning the mcdonalds one down..

he now works in a hotel resturant

he likes cooking a lot, so i think he is really chuffed (i am! and so is my mum!)

so things are falling into place, and now money and everything will be much easier

hurrah!

driving test number 3 tomorrow.

gah.

also, we are off to a wedding do friday night which will be nice. it is the woman who used to babysit me when i was younger. she is lovely.

im happy

can make my heart smile with the littlist of things

Today has been embarassing already....

Got into work.

Manager came in.

"Hi Emma! Oh, I think you need to do yourself up there.." *nods to my chest*

oh my

my top was only half buttoned! You could see my boobs! I had got on the bus, gone into security and everything like that!!

good god.

I bet people thought I was a whore

damn it.

on the plus side, today is friday. And tomorrow stu has a trial with my aunties resturant, cooking in the kitchen.

Happy Birthday to BrokenDownAngel by the way!

Tomorrow I think stuart and myself are going to go into chester, before his trial. I havnt had a nice day in chester for ages

so anyway, roll on 5 o'clock!

Sims 3 came yesturday. Its great.

So did the family guy boxset i ordered. I love family guy, you can never get too much of it! I think the plan for tonight is to start working through the box set! (I might get a bottle of baileys too)

Lovely cosy night in?

so yeah, everything is going ok. I have my 3rd Driving Test on tuesday... lets see what happens and not get my hopes built up too much..

well, I promised a picture

how lovely.

what do you think of the new hair?

i look much like snow white. when i was younger people used to say i looked like snow white.

Ok, so, my hair is now almost black. All of it.

it looks ok acctually. i think stuart likes it too.

it will go lighter, i had to do it dark so it would cover the pink, and the dies always fade anyway (i have quite the experience) so in a week or so it will be a little lighter, my natural very very dark brown

my skin is looking lovely too.

all is good.

stu has a mcdonads trial today, but also my aunty has offered to give him a trial in the resturant she is head chef for.. so, i think he is going to go to both and either work full time in one (the resturant) or part time in both

so

its looking good

also, the sims 3 should be coming through the post either today or tomorrow. im excited i love the sims...

So, good luck to stuart!!!!!!!! hope he does ok with his trial, im sure he will. i know i know its only mcdonalds.. but the sooner he gets a job the better.

so

yes

today is wednesday.

hope you are all well.